All children Are Different, and a lot of the time, It takes creativity to ensure that we Learn which Approach to take, based on their personality and how we Form a Relationship With them!! Here are A few Deeelicious, Tips that I feel are From a Placeof Love and can Really benefit our little loves, and how we choose to interact with them throughout the lifetime .
1.) Practice the Importance of One on One Time
Giving your Kin un-divided Attention, Teaches them the importance of Relationships- close knitted quarters, openness and vulnerability . It Holds you down, and Puts your roots Right into the Earth , Breaking pre-conceived Barriers and Holds attentions In a Mutual Manner. Something I have noticed in behavioral studies , is the disruption in a child's behavior and Lashing out , is caused by a lack of attention from the parent and or parental figure. The More you show your child the Importance they hold in your life , the more self-worth They will have along their path. At Times, there can be a language barrier ( due to age and what not) But, So much can be shared and translated through eye contact and just being present. The Literal Exchange of Space , and space shared can be healing, and even help raise a child's Confidence Level. There are Always fun activities you can plan, based on age and personal interest. The more time you truly spend being there and Grounded, the more you get to know them and notice Their growth! and I mean this on a daily basis. Think of it as a sort of self care- by nurturing and Loving the kin you conceived , you are also Nurturing your Inner Child.
2.) Practice The Importance Of Alone Time
Don't Get me wrong, I Love cuddles and Engaging one another , but Alone time is Waaayy Essential for Peace of Mind ..
Self sustainability comes from an embrace of Freedom; The Child Who occupies them selves , and can do things without clinging to their mother for all things, is going to adjust a lot better to society in General . Giving them freedom to do what they wish, allows them to take full charge of their life- if even, only for a little bit . It Allows Them Room for Creativity, Constructive Thinking, Problem Solving , Talent Exploration - etc. Sometimes we make the mistake of using alone time , as a punishment. Isolation used in a negative manner , can do damage , in a long term manner .
Give them The Freedom, to explore fully, Creatively , Curiously, openly, and Honestly. Some of my best memories as a child, were times spent alone. Exploring the Neighborhoods , or even just coupled up with a Delicious book-that took me to a far off land . With my Mother giving me that time and space,I was allowed to develop a sense of Exploration for the world and everything in between - Treasuring alone time , even to this day.
3.) Be Real With Them AKA Fill Them In !
Honest and Open Communication at home , allows your child to approach the world in a truly appropriately pleasant manner. This sort of approach, will give your child a grasp on reality, that allows them to see beyond the blinders and rose-colored glasses that can sometimes be introduced.There's really, not enough initial honesty, from random Experiences in society.
When you, "Keep them in the loop" per-say, you are giving them an importance in your life; A Status, you could call it. "Trusted Companion", is what that says. Allowing a child to feel important (and not only that, but fully aware of the life exchange, and Happenings introduced) gives them the ability to Adapt far Greater and will less Resistance. All Anyone really wants, is to feel like they belong. Its Truly that simple , sometimes. At Times of Major Life Change , Leveling and Being Vulnerable with them, shows the Raw emotions of Being a Human. Showing: Perfection is not realistic, or expected;With this, you show them the Different Stages of How a Close relationship works. Where Honesty, is the Secret Ingredient to harmony. It's Really So Essential, to Raise Vibrant , Confident, and Ready to Love- youth.
The World is Multi-faceted, and we cant protect our children From Every harm, but what we can do is prepare them the best we can!
4.) Let Them Be Them.
All Gifts are Discovered, and developed through exploring, our natural sense of Curiosity; While Teaching them Dignity and Discernment - you Give a sort of Moral Path towards " Finding out" Who they none the less. . Give them freedom to test the waters, Follow their Senses, Test Their intuition, Test Boundaries, Learn From Mistakes and so Much More. The goal, Really, Is to Look at your children in the end, and say "These beautiful babies, how Strong and Vibrant they are. Fearless and grateful Thank you, Lordddd Amen !" Feed Their Talents, and Let them explore interests ( even if they only last for a short while) This gives them so much room to grow and be clear about what they want ! On the Contrary, Minding that sometimes we make mistakes - and can feel especially human. Sensing this, and sometimes the shame that comes with mistakes- Keeps them grounded in Humanity, and allows them to learn self-forgiveness, and healing from certain situations that Inevitably lead to personal growth. We Should always come at them in a compassionate manner , when it comes to the big things (That often boggle our minds.) Finding the angle to approach, and talk about things , is going to create an open door of ease. So go on, let your children make mistakes, but also allow them to grow from these lessons with a loving approach- even further into humanity and the self. Some Children need to learn the hard way, and when this happens , it is best to steer clear of shaming them. This is a very toxic thing, and Actually disrupts their self love/puts blocks on their development. Making them bitter towards themselves, and others' "Mistakes" . Let them learn what they need to do, by letting them experience what not to do. Encourage and feed the positive, while seeking to understand the things we find and know are not so delightful. Every child is born with pure love, and at any stage we can turn their behavior around, by changing our approach to them.
5.)Show them what friendship is all about!
Friendship! The Yummy, and Lovely Treasure we receive after learning social Skills (lol!) Even though, there's nothing more entertaining( and frustrating) than Feral Children. The Glory of being a Friend is essential to being a loving and whole individual at any age. Friendship is about Mutual Interests, Silliness, Quality Time, unconditional Love, sweetness, sharing, growth etc. Respecting Your Child in the Aspect of showing them your Compassionate silliness and unconditional Warmth , will Allow them the Ease they need to go out and Be part of the world .Of Course, don't put friendship over your role as a Parent. But, for sure find A Balance in your example of each.
The Rate of Anxiety in children/Young adults is astonishingly high, due to the fact that there is a stigma of fear, about the world and the people involved. Often times, making one feel alone. The world is not actually a terrible place, but one of Opportunity to see and learn all that we can. Why not make friends along the way, aye ?
When A Child can Place their trust in a friend/ Circle , they can Find a Standing on who they are as a person, and be willing to claim their power as an individual. Having Someone , who is of same age/ Life experience as you, gives more confidence in facing Challenges and Embracing life. There are many people in my life, who I would not be The same without. In the best way possible.
Be trusting in your children choices of friends, and when weary , always be sure to speak your mind of the matter . Just try to give them a little space to make their own decisions, with things such as friends. Some children can seem horrible , when all they really need is a little guidance. In some cases. A little bit of acceptance can completely change a child's behavior. unless their is a friend who is putting your child's life in danger, steer clear of judging them so harshly. After All, Friendship is about openness and Acceptance.
6.)Teach them how to be assertive
This is something of THE MOST extreme importance. And it Begins with Setting healthy Boundaries, i.e Being Firm when it comes to saying no, or any decision. Standing your ground with things you feel strongly about, others respecting your personal space and so much more. If we want our children to develop healthy Relationships, they have to understand how being assertive works. Its okay to want to be accepted, and feel like they belong, but if it comes at the expense of their dignity and/or who they are . That is where the line has to be crossed. Be Honest with your child about what is respectful and proper to expect from others. and teach them the proper respect of others' wishes. As well as being clear about their own standards and Wishes. In every area of life, if we want those around us to truly know what we want, we have to tell them, and not only that- but be completely clear about what we want to ourselves. Being able to make decisions will help in every single area of life, and the less trouble they have with tootin along their path, the better.
With this being said,
I wish to address something that every parent should be aware of, and that is Bullying . Bullying can begin as a harmless joke, and end with cyber bullying, by groups. This general age group of middle school- 12th grade, holds the highest percentage of self harm and body shaming.
Suicide in youth ages 10-24 Has risen to numbers that previously had not increased for over a decade. From the years 1989-2004 the suicide rate was decreasing steadily, and all of a sudden in 2004, the suicide rate jumps 8%.
These Crucial points in development, are where bullying occurs the most. Leaving these children feeling alone and helpless at times. Each case of bullying is different, and so is the solution. One way to help your child absolve these sort of scenarios is through being assertive . Often times, Loners and those with timid natures are targeted for bullying based off their seeming Vulnerability. When You stand up for yourself in situations like that, you show the aggressor you don't stand for it or their nastiness. Because , honestly you shouldn't! No One has power of you, but yourself and this is a VERY important message to teach our youth. Teach them to stand their ground, hold eye contact, speak up, and most importantly , speak their truth. Having A Problem solving approach will show, once again, by example that things can be resolved.
We, Of Course, Will not mix with every personality , but its important - to allow our children to be exactly who they are. While showing them. they don't have to take crap from anyone. There's too much Beauty and opportunity in the World, to Be Bogged down by Sorrow and feelings of Inadequacy. They are always worth their Life.
7.) Teach Them About your Spiritual Practices/ Beliefs ( Or Ways of Praise and gratitude for life, if not Spiritual)
Being raised in the church gave me a beginning in the world of Organized religion; a sense of connection and the love of prayer. Although Christianity wasn't for me, It gave me an introduction, to respect all systems of spiritual Belief. There are Universal Laws that should always be respected and in active play; Irregardless of Background or personal/ Spiritual practice, they should atleast be brought into awareness. The Practice of Unconditional Love, Constant Gratitude, Service to Humanity and Respect for our self and others, are just a few to name. There is wholeness and beauty in the teaching of connected-ness to all of life and the Appreciation/Love for it. Whatever belief system your children explore or show interest in, should always be encouraged. There is nothing more distasteful , than being pushed into a belief system that is dictated to you. They have to find what is cozy, bright, loving, nourishing and most importantly, What feels right. Not everyone is going to agree on things, but where we can find mutual ground is in our respect for the belief. You would be surprised how much common ground there really is in being open to other interpretations of spiritual Practice. In all of my work, I make sure to be as un-biased as possible.This way, I ensure the richness of the general message be heard. Sometimes , we forget that its not about who's belief is right, or who's God is real. Its about the feeling you get, when you get into sacred space . Teaching our children things like meditation, prayer, appreciation of nature , generosity, gratitude or even Worship is A Sure fire way for them to be able, to reach hope at any minute. There is, of course, far more than meets the eye and encouraging exploration in this is a great way to raise of child of inner peace. We Have- running around ,may little enlightened ones . Ascended masters , being birthed into society. Here to show us the way of inner peace and Union. How essential Is the ability to quiet the mind and be in awe of life, No matter your method of Belief , it will no doubt, pave the way for a belief system all their own. Encourage your little Angel, and Teach them the beauty of the world. And remember to teach them the expression of this beauty , that they are.
With Love, and Kisses for Infinity
E.B
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